Right now something in my life is feeling a bit off. It’s not the end of the world or irrecoverable. It’s not mega disaster or anything. But it feels off. You know what I mean? Off-ness is sure offputting, isn’t it. Even if most everything in our life is cruising, the one thing that isn’t will take up our energy. The one thing that’s off outshines all that’s on.
Your job is off.
Your body is off.
Your spouse is off.
Your kid is off.
Your mind is off.
Your trust is off.
Your self-worth is off.
Your marriage is off.
Your bank account is off.
Your family member is off.
Your dog is off.
That one thing begins to loom. We feel the discomfort of having to discern the repair-work. Do we push? Do we wait? Do we speak up? Do we hush up? Do we let go? Do we hold on? Do we dig in? Do we allow space?
Hard to know.
I’ve written and erased quite a few paragraphs at this point in the post because if there are no easy answers for me, then I’m sure there are no easy answers for you.
I guess what makes sense to me right now is to be brave—to lean into the hard places with courage—and to also save some space for God to do his mysterious work.
I look at the artwork in the picture at the beginning of this post. It’s such a perfect metaphor. Sometimes our brave is covered over, muted a bit, challenged, even disguised, and we need to do the hard work of freeing it from the layers and layers that are burying it. Excavating our brave is holy work.
In the midst of it all, as I’m leaning in and also asking God to show up for me, I can be good to myself. {It’s always brave to take care of ourselves, especially in the midst of anything off.} Find the spacious place, the breathing room. Find beauty. Feed myself well. Rest. Enjoy the College World Series, the World Cup, Sex and the City reruns, chick lit novels. Drink water.
If one big thing or one little thing—no matter how big or how small—is feeling off (unresolved, tense, disappointing, unclear), I just wanted to encourage you to be brave {whatever that means for you} and, also, to leave some space for God to surprise you.
With love to you today,
Leeana
Sometimes my issues are real sometimes a hologram. It doesn’t seem to matter. I am a fan of a woody Allen saying, 80% of courage is just showing up. Sometimes that’s enough, sometimes it is a at least a nudge to focus on God, on the good.
And thank you for sharing your deep inner work, even when I don’t comment it always strikes a cord, a learning.
Thank you, Mike. Always appreciate your perspective, thoughts, and insights. Love “hologram” and love the WA quote. Yes, I do believe that sometimes the most subversive thing we can do is just keep breathing! Grace to you today . . .
My relationship with my son is “off” because he is growing up, separating, not needing me…intentionally NOT needing me and being very vocal about it. I am feeling melancholy for my little boy, even sad. I will be brave, I will navigate the mommy to mom role. Thanks for your insight.
Oh, Lisa. I’m so sorry. There’s no script for these kinds of things. God’s grace to you today as you try to strike that delicate balance of holding on and letting go.
I needed this reminder! Thanks! 🙂
You’re so welcome. Lonna. Thank you for reading!!
Having just relocated to a new state, new town, new house, new everything, we are OFF in many, many areas. We have time in our marriage that we’ve never had, as we were an instant-family when I married my best friend and his beautiful daughters.
Lots of time. Together. Just the two of us. Every day. Just us. But I digress…
We are figuring out what to do with each other all the livelong day. We don’t have friends out here yet. OFF. We haven’t found a church we just know is the right place for us. OFF. We don’t have a support group, individually or for our marriage. OFF.
So much is OFF. And yet, there is still some that is dead on. We’re living from what’s working and gracing what is not yet. It is not easy, as you said. But there’s not a damn thing we can do to speed it up or spur it on. It will take time. And we know that when this season passes, we will be the better for it.
Love you and your LIFE-GIVING words, girl! Thank you for being real and sharing that with us.