Further thoughts on the loaves and fish . . .

Sometimes our five loaves and two fish look more like a handful of stale saltine crackers and a sardine carcass. We had wanted to wait until our five loaves and two fish looked more like a special delivery from Dean and Deluca. Delicious. In good taste. Rustic and yet gourmet. Beautifully presented on a reclaimed wood plank. With a side of fig jam. You know, or something like that.

And it troubles us so that we can’t seem to get things together like her over there. Or our lives just don’t seem as sexy as his over there. I just don’t have what it takes for God to do something major with my life.

So we turn away from God with our sad little remains, and we miss the most important part. We believe that we have to pretty it all up before God could ever do anything with us. We believe we’ve got to get ourselves worthy enough.

And Christ says, All I require is what’s in your hands. Just bring it to me. Bring me the stale saltines. Bring me the sardine carcass. Bring me the meager, the humble, the modest. That little old lunch. And watch me be God. Watch me set a table of glory.

When we see who we are and who he is—and we do our part and let God do his part–all of a sudden the angst is transformed to awe.

And that’s how I want to live. Filled with awe.