I keep thinking about my post from Monday, so I thought I’d listen to the resonance and provide a second installment of the post, perhaps more personal this time.
Maybe this is me commenting on my own post. Hmmmmm . . . that’s interesting.
I confess to being a shoe wearer-outer (Jeremiah 2:25). I spend a lot of sideways energy emotionally scampering, ducking, dodging, jetting, dragging . . . all of which is exhausting. I wear out my soul’s soles on a regular basis, trying to out maneuver my self-doubt.
I so relate to Norris, and her fear of truly embracing her calling because of what it might require of her. I have spent quite a few months (probably more than I’d like to admit) in fits and starts over becoming and being an author, having to confront one perceived inadequacy after another.
Right now, I’m thinking back to my post about Twitter last week and how this process of writing and authoring really does force me to have to confront my deepest demons. In that way, I know the calling is from God. It’s about more than producing a commercial product. It’s about my own personal transformation.
What was true for the prophets and what was true for Norris and what is true for me today is that God beckons me into something bigger than myself because that is the place where I will experience the beautiful (and scare-the-crap-out-of-you scary) confluence of my need and his great love.
This is the exact spot where we actually have something worthwhile to share with the world. Not our shining competence. But our authentic formation.
May I learn to be still.
Are you scampering or still today? How did you get to where you are?