Times of “soulmaking” are rarely ever convenient. Strike that. Never convenient. Never easy. Never comfortable. Our growth, transformation, becoming all come at a cost. The cost is: our own personal comfort.
I HATE that. Triple hate.
In Exodus 16, there’s a part of the Israelites story that speaks to our choice when we find ourselves in a transformational moment in our story.
God had brought the children of Israel out of slavery in Egypt, and just about 6 weeks into their exodus, they began to complain.
We don’t have enough food. At least in Egypt, we were well fed.
God said, OK. I’m going to provide food for you. Manna. Food is literally going to fall from the sky. I want you to go pick it up each day and only get enough food for that day. The next day, I will provide more. And on the 6th day, I will allow you to pick up enough food for the 6th and 7th days so that you can observe the Sabbath.
Do you trust me?
Even after God had rescued the Israelites from slavery. Even after he had literally rained food from the sky to meet their needs. They did not trust him.
They hoarded the manna. They took matters into their own hands and secured their own comfort because they did not trust that God’s provision was enough.
They didn’t trust that their time in the desert was more about soulmaking than mere physical sustenance.
If we hoard all this manna in our tents, then we won’t have to deal with the discomfort of relinquishing control. Yeah. We can get what we want without having to go through anything difficult.
And God says that’s not the way it works.
Escaping is short-term relief. It is not true healing. It is not the way we move toward our truest self.
The message is simple, really. Do I trust that God may have a great gift for me in this season in my journey, in this moment in my story? Or do I believe that I am better off numbing myself and escaping this place that he’s brought me to.
It’s easy to look at this story of the Israelites and say, what in the world is wrong with you and totally disassociate ourselves from similar behavior. Because we all do this. We all trust that we are better off escaping the place God has us by taking matters into our own hands.
How do we escape?
Through . . . Eating. Not eating. Indulgence. Deprivation. TV. Relationships. Work. Our children. Noise. Busyness. Sarcasm. Substances. Spending.
Escaping and avoiding and numbing don’t have to look like dirty little secrets. Some of us numb out by simply hiding behind our clean-cut religious answers, by staying up here in our heads and never letting life actually happen in our hearts.
I long for the soulmaking. But it’s hard stuff. So, today, I confess that I am prone to hoarding. I’m prone to panic. To stockpiling. To making sure I’ve got plenty of reserves in the storm shelter. Welcome to the human race. So, God, I need you to show me only what I need for today. And give me the courage to accept your portion. Amen.
