Recent, revolutionary epiphany:

This means taking better care of myself.

This means being a companion instead of a critic.

This means compassion instead of self-contempt.

This means treating myself as I would a friend—with grace, understanding, belief.

This means telling myself: “you’re doing great.”

This means developing a sustainable life rhythm instead of expecting something of myself that no human could ever accomplish . . . therefore piling on those feelings of failure.

This means treating myself with the same kind of treatment I’m desiring/expecting from others: respect, appreciation, kindness, mutuality. (Do we expect these things from others but don’t, in turn, offer them to ourselves?)

This means doing the work, every day, to get well. (We make a grave mistake if we believe that caring for ourselves is the equivalent of expecting nothing from ourselves.)

This means being honest with myself.

This means allowing myself the time necessary to do something I love. Even if it’s not “productive.”

This means being an adult (We aren’t a friend to ourselves by indulging our every whim; that is the kind of self-sabotage that keeps us perpetually adolescent.)

This means celebrating all the big things, but—more importantly—all the little things, too. Like . . . Spending quality time with a child. Keeping my cool when I’m tired. Finishing a writing assignment. Choosing and offering kindness. Taking the high road. Praying instead of ranting. Resting when needed. These are all cause for celebration, pat-on-the-back moments.

This means doing the work of making amends with myself. Forgiveness. Letting myself off the hook. (Sometimes the person we have the hardest time accepting/forgiving/loving is ourselves.)

It’s hard sometimes, isn’t it. Remembering to care for ourselves, to be on our own team, to believe in ourselves. But I’m wondering if it’s the one thing that just might change everything.

What is one “this means . . .” from the above list that stands out to you?