If I were sitting at my growth group right now and I had to give an update on my life over the last couple of weeks, I would probably choose to express my update through a theme word. And that word would be family.

We have now been living at my mom’s house for 3 months, and we’ve officially moved past the honeymoon stage of things and into the heavy negotiating of stuff. Organizing, throwing out, Good Will-ing, painting, decorating, hanging, repurposing (a gun cabinet my brother made in high school shop that now stores those oversized toys that one-year-olds push around — amazing what a little fabric and new pulls will do — and, of course, removing the five shotguns that had been displayed previously), and a little yelling. Oh, and also, some laughing and some crying. Family.

I just survived my first Christmas with kids. Though officially we had them last Christmas, I don’t count that as an actual Christmas with kids because we were all still in the hospital recuperating as they had just been born two days prior.

This year, we packed our pilot and Steve, me, the babies, and my mom all headed to Lake Tahoe where Steve’s parents have a lovely cabin in Squaw Valley. We joined Steve’s parents and brother and his wife and son and we celebrated non-stop with just about all the birthday and Christmas cheer a group of people could possibly endure, including fancy dinners, sledding, skiing, Charger games at the Blue Coyote, shopping, Christmas card stuffing, gifting, receiving, some laughing, some crying, and vomiting. Family.

Luke and Lane celebrated their first birthday while we were in Tahoe. I’m trying to figure out how I can take it all in. Each day is awash with the urgency of keeping two babies alive and I’m so relieved when we get to bedtime and we’ve all survived. Yet there is also this sense that the days add up to something incredibly sacred and sometimes it’s hard to take in that sacred part. Family.

Steve and I continue to be married. That’s a major accomplishment, I think. When the polarizing pulls of work and home are erased momentarily during the holidays, and we are in it all together, I am — and I believe we are — at my best. Being a team. That’s what we’re good at. And I miss him this morning as he’s back at work and I’m here at home and the responsibilities of life keep us in separate worlds most of the day. Family.

Yep, that’s my word. The great art of navigating family. All the needs, the wants, the expectations, the disappointments, the instructions, the input, the hopes, the celebrations, and the bodily fluids.

About a week ago, my mom says to me as we’re both standing in the kitchen, “Leeana, I’m going to put together some New Year’s resolutions for you . . .”

Family.