A little video Introduction to the book club by Yours Truly:

So here we go with the Prelude . . .

I open the Prelude, and the book, with a passage from Psalm 18 (MSG) that talks about God reaching down to us while we are drowning in a void and standing us up on a wide-open field.

Very little of my internal world has ever felt like a “wide-open field.” I am in my head a lot, anxious, rehearsing, rehearsing, rehearsing. None of this makes for a spacious interior. And I have longed for the ease of that broad expanse.

So this verse has always been incredibly important to me, especially the line about “the void in which I was drowning” (as sometimes it can feel like we’re drowning, but we don’t really know why) and the line about the “wide-open field” (because so many of us are longing for space).

This is a passage to take to your patio or to your kitchen table or to the little nook in your room and write out, repeat, breathe in and out. I believe this is a passage for all of us, and God would want to visit you through these words, in the midst of these words.

So there’s that. The important backdrop of God rescuing us . . . and the reality that he often rescues us not in the ways we would have planned or preferred, but instead, according to his God alchemy, which is mysterious and even sometimes frustrating because it doesn’t follow our agenda.

As I reread the Prelude, three things stand out to me most, the things I am still learning, still needing to wake up each day and practice. These three things are a huge premise of the entire book, presuppositions I want us to consider before we go any farther.

(I share these three things with you because each of these I have had to learn the hard way. These things DO NOT come easy to me. They also make me kind of mad, at least annoyed. And so I’ve tried to push right past all these truths, and it hasn’t served me. Don’t think for ONE SECOND that I’ve got any of the below mastered in any way. No, ma’am.)

They are:

It never works to try to talk ourselves out of what we’re experiencing.

I’m not sure this is a popular sentiment among Christians. I think a lot of Christians fear that if you validate your own experiences and feelings then you will be acquiescing to them. I don’t subscribe to this thinking. I believe THE ONLY way we can begin to let go of the Hard and the struggle is to first stop and acknowledge what’s really going on. We don’t have to dwell on it all forever. We don’t have to live our lives in sackcloth and ashes. But if we don’t start with reality, then we’re stuck.

Here’s the other part of this: Sometimes reality sucks. And we don’t want to face it because it’s scary, overwhelming, and downright mean. But ignoring it will not do us any favors in the long run. So when I’m feeling swirly and churny, one of the things I try to do is sit with what I’m experiencing. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if I don’t want to go there. Even if it sucks. AND THEN, I ask God to visit me in that place of reality. I ask him to give me the courage to sit in it for 10 seconds. And I ask him to come sit in it with me. This is the stuff of strange miracles. That’s all I know. Oh, and that refusing to do this WILL NOT pay off. I’m sorry. It just won’t.

We are allowed to be both blessed and struggling.

When we don’t let these two experiences co-exist, we rob ourselves of the fullness of God and our own souls. Do not let the Brain Vultures, the voice of your childhood Sunday School teacher, or anyone else convince you that in order to be grateful for your life, you cannot also be struggling.

Life is both beautiful and challenging, gorgeously gifted to us and hard. We are both extraordinarily resilient and also vulnerable-in-our-humanity. I tend to be an either/or kind of thinker, which I’m coming to learn is actually fairly adolescent. Life is either this or that. I am either this or that. And it’s just not true. We are an amazing amalgamation of feelings, experiences, truths. So I try to hold space for all that. I try to remind myself that in the breadth and depth of God’s love, even seemingly conflicting experiences can coexist in one soul. And he’s not worried about it. He’s not intimidated by it. Most of all, he’s not disappointed in us for experiencing all the dimensions of our humanity. He experienced it too.

We let go by learning to embrace the texture that is life: BOTH hard AND good.

When we hit our critical line, we better pay attention.

Our critical line is that pesky little moment when all of life is telling us it’s time to stop and take a breath. It is NO FUN to have limits. It is NO FUN to be human sometimes. I resent it, actually, that I can’t push and push and push my way into life. But the last few years have taught me that I can’t. I have to learn, somehow, to make peace with my humanity. Ugghhhhh.

I guess this kind of goes back to #1, but when we acknowledge what we’re actually going through, we are then able to get the help we need. OK, and let me also admit that needing to get help sucks, too. It’s hard when life isn’t just singing right along, and we actually need a little assistance. It can feel like a failing to need some intervention, support, counsel. I wish I were perfect. I really do. Turns out, I’m not. And every once in awhile I benefit from a little help. Again, I don’t want to live my life in denial. That means, I have to pay attention to what’s actually going on and then take baby steps accordingly.

I also don’t want to live my life without joy. And if we don’t pay attention to this critical line business, our anxiety and worry and fear and fatigue can rob us of the good things. It’s OK to be sad, to be having a hard time, but we also need to restore our capacity to laugh. No, to giggle. Right? We need to be able to come back to the lightness of life, and if we’re stuck in the Hard and not getting ourselves the help we need, we stop giggling. And that’s just not OK.

I’d love to know what stands out to you in this chapter. What is a concept that seems important to you? How do these ideas intersect with your life right now?

You are precious and brave and I’m so grateful to be breathing through this book with you!!!

Love and candles,

Leeana

 

* If you missed the details about this Book Club, you can read all about it here.

** Here is the Official Reader’s Guide for Breathing Room to use for personal reflection or group discussion.

*** If you don’t yet have your copy of Breathing Room, you can purchase it here or here. Thank you!