Chapter 10 is about making amends with ourselves so that we can experience more freedom, less shame. The majority of the chapter is a letter I wrote to myself, a letter of amends, that focuses on letting go of self-doubt, self-contempt, self-pity and holding on to — and even celebrating — my unique soul. It’s about sitting down with the 85 year old version of ourselves and letting her take our hand.    

Here’s my challenge to you: Spend some time with that much older, storied, centered version of yourself. The one who knows things. Ask her what she wants to say to the current you. What does she know? What are the things you need to hold on to for dear life? What are the things you need to let go of? What matters? What doesn’t? Let God speak to you through her. Let her show you how you can learn to get out of your own way.

I get in my own way so much. More than I want to admit. I grab on to that destructive either/or thinking. I press for solutions instead of embracing the unfolding mystery. I fear my own strength and potential (which is something I’m really leaning into right now). I get rage-y when I have to revisit things I already know. I realize today, as I reread Chapter 10, that amends is not once-and-for-all. We live amends. Daily. Hourly. Moment-by-moment. We learn to honor our God-ness and our dirt every single day.

Today, this is what the older, more centered version of me is telling me: I don’t have to have everything figured out in order to take the next step. I don’t have to face life as a victim or a martyr. I can let joy and energy and possibility be my guides. I don’t have to foster a slick surface. I can be porous and open and curious. I can let love and life sink in. I can take risks. I can be brave. It’s not a trick. It’s not a trick. It’s not a trick.

I’d love to hear what that 85 year old YOU tells you. What wisdom does she impart to the current you? What jewel has she whispered in your ear?

Love upon love,

Leeana