Life in Bahrain is small. Yes, because it’s a small island, but also because of the ongoing demonstrations—the showdown between the Sunni and the Shi’a. For our safety, we must stay away from the hot spots, and that—often—can mean sticking close to home and just accept the narrowing, narrowing, narrowing of life.
This is not all bad.
There’s something strangely freeing about not being able to do, buy, eat, shop for, procure . . . anything and everything in the world. Don’t get me wrong, I terribly miss Target and Costco and Marshalls and Home Goods. I terribly miss being able to just stop by a farmer’s market and pick up really good produce or meat. I terribly miss milk that doesn’t expire 4 days after you purchase it. I terribly miss Mexican food. I terribly miss being able to move about a city with ease and freedom.
But, I don’t miss the frenzy that comes from being able to do anything anytime. I don’t miss the psychic A.D.D.
Being here is an exercise in accepting limits. It’s the deeply spiritual act of saying, OK, that’s enough. That will have to do because that’s all there is.
I see how extracting ourselves from our normals can illuminate things. Our priorities. Our values. Our irritants. Life here has significant challenges, but I’ve been reflecting on the gifts that it’s brought, too. So I thought I’d share 5 things I want to take with me when we leave Bahrain:
1. Centering Time: I have made space for writing time 5 mornings a week. I have realized since being here that this time is far less about moving some kind of professional life down the tracks and much more about a time of centering. We all need a way—daily—to connect intentionally with ourselves and our Higher Power. I’ve known this my whole life. But I’m actually practicing it now. Through the medium of writing. Yes, it’s my professional life, too, but somehow the lines are blurred right now, and the writing is as much about being alive as it is about anything strictly professional.
2. Impromptu Gatherings: In San Diego our lives were far more scheduled. Here our life has the flexibility and margin to be much more impromptu. Many weekends, we send out a text to a few friends and say hey come on over; let’s grill and swim. Bring whatever you have in your fridge and we’ll make it work. This organic, doing-life-together, is wonderful. It’s helped me wear out the perfectionism a bit too. Not needing to have everything perfect in order to entertain. All I need to do is send a text. Many times, we’ve even just ordered food in so that the stress of pulling together a meal doesn’t overcome our desire to be together. This kind of getting together has been good for me, good for Steve, and good for our kids.
3. Single-tasking: I recently read a great post about never running out of ideas. One of the guy’s points was about the power of “single-tasking.” “Learn what it feels like to immerse yourself in a single project,” he says. Doesn’t that resonate? I feel so fragmented sometimes. How powerful it is to just sit down and single-task. Rewarding. This concept has really stuck with me and it’s because it’s something I’ve tasted here in Bahrain. Instead of thinning ourselves out over an endless number of things, how fulfilling to sit down and really go deep with one task/project.
4. “Circling the Wagons:” With a much smaller social circle here than we had in San Diego, much less traveling for Steve’s job, and no speaking engagements for me, we find we are “circling the wagons” so much more. In other words, we are banking some really consistent family time. This is a GIANT gift to me. I’m sure there will be a time in our family life when we are all heading in our own directions, so I’m cherishing these evenings when we are all outside together. Steve grilling. Luke and Lane and I in the pool (each of them taking turns giving me made-up characters who I’m then supposed to incorporate into a song or story). Elle napping or in her bouncy seat on the patio with us. These are the moments when the following phrase comes to mind: “deliciously happy.”
5. Resting: I think I have reached a whole new level in my relationship with rest. In a very good way. I have pushed and pushed and pushed for a few years now, and I finally decided I was going to treat myself a bit better than that and listen to my body more and just climb in bed when I need to. No questions asked. This is a way I take radically good care of myself. Somehow, as a result of being here, I’ve embraced the slower pace and just said—that’s enough; that’s all I can do right now; I’m resting. As AL says, a guilt-free afternoon coming right up.
After re-reading this list, I realize that every one of these things has more to do with our values than where we are living. . . . the spiritual discipline of committing to the things that are important to us and not just letting our lives be about the hustle.
Which one of the above 5 resonates most with you? Why?
